Being indecisive uses up a lot of time and energy- and it can lead to stress, frustration, or even desperation.
This is an area that I really struggle in. Being that I am obsessed with Time Management- this is a huge problem. I did make one Big Decision recently- and that is to learn all I can about decision making!
Incorporating what I learn about decision making into my writing is a way to learn and grow. I might as well share what I learn along the way on this site.
In this article, I’ll share some tips I learned on How to Be a Better Decision Maker. These include making a few shifts in your mindset, and the heart vs. mind approach. First, let’s look at what can keep us stuck.
The Causes and Costs of Indecision
Do you find yourself when making decisions that you go back and forth, second guess yourself and ask others for their opinion? This creates stress, delays progress, and leads to guilt as we keep putting things off.
I am experiencing this right now with coming up with a business name for another Real Estate Photography Site. I have come up with about 50 different names and still do not like any of them.
I love this quote from Cicero “More is lost by indecision than by wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity.”
I’m sure you’ve guessed what ultimately can keep you from making decisions. Yep..it’s fear.
We fear making the “wrong” choice because we don’t want to look bad, be judged, criticized or afraid that our decision will lead to negative consequences. Instead of facing this fear, we often procrastinate.
Decision Making- Remove the Fear
Imagine how decision making would change without fear being involved. I know fear cannot be completely done away with, but think how your different your decision making would be without it.
Here’s a different approach—make a choice, trust yourself, and if things don’t go as planned, then fix it. When the thoughts of fear start creeping in, stop them in their tracks!
I know, easier said than done. Going back to the example of naming my website. For me- it’s living with the regret of working hard on a site if I don’t like the name. I would need to start completely over if I couldn’t get past it. The fact that I don’t have a name is delaying the website- which is delaying additional business. See how this works??
If and when fear rears it’s ugly head, handle it the best you can by being calm and compassionate- and don’t let it stop you!
For bigger decisions with more serious consequences, you can take more time to reflect, do research, ask for advice, and sit with uncertainty if you need to. Then, do some serious meditation and breathing exercises and then choose from the heart, trusting you can handle whatever comes next.
Key Mindset Shifts
The following mindset shifts can help make decision-making easier:
Decide From Your Heart
We often have a mindset that thinking things through will solve the uncertainty. While thinking can be useful, it is less helpful when fear is involved. Instead, try making decisions based on what you feel in your heart. Ask yourself, “What do I truly want?” Then- once you ask this question, tune into your body. Do you feel heat rising in your chest? Do you feel excitement or a sense of dread? These are physical signs that can help you make a decision from the heart. (Now, I realize- for those very logical people this may not work for you). 🙂
For instance- if you are struggling with what car to buy, you can evaluate & compare all the safety features, resell value, etc. However, if there’s a car you absolutely love- and it gets a lower safety rating, then in this instance, you may need to choose from your heart.
Trust Your Decisions
Many people can spend a lot of time making a decision- and then will start worrying afterwards if it was the right one. What is done is done and you can’t change the past. By simply trusting your decision and that you can always fix it, you’ll free yourself from the unnecessary worry.
Focus On What You Can Learn
Being indecisive can also arise from wanting to make the right choice. We can’t see into the future, so we don’t always know for sure if we made the right decision. I know- I don’t like this truth either. It would be nice to look into a crystal ball and see how our decisions play out in the future.
This makes me think of the movie Sliding Doors with Gwynth Paltrow. In this movie, it shows her making a series of decisions based on her missing the Subway. Okay, so back to the main point.
By using these mindset shifts, you can relax and trust yourself more when making decisions.
Practice w/Little Stuff
Start being more decisive with your every day type of choices. I don’t recommend starting w/ life-altering decisions like whether to change jobs. Begin with simpler decisions to build your trust & confidence.
Examples include:
- What do I want to eat for breakfast?
- How should I respond to this text?
- Should I go out with Billy this weekend?
- Should I organize my garage today?
- What do I want to do this weekend?
With each decision, notice if you begin to overthink. Practice choosing from the heart. If you starting doubting your decisions, then move into trust. If you worry whether you made the “right” decision, remind yourself you are learning and growing.
As for me and my website name… well, I’ll keep you posted!